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Saturday, May 17, 2008
1:55 PM
Matsuri today was.. Crap. Okay, no, it's me who's crap actually. Couldn't get the rhythem, couldn't feel anything, if I'm lost, I can no longer catchup. This is adding on to my nerves, I feel that I am perfectly capable of screwing all performances up now, hallelujah.The big drum is freaking fun to play for Matsuri. The music it creates with the paigu sounds really good. I feel like smashing the computer, the internet browser refuses to load youtube for me despite me refreshing it. Fuuuuuuucker, I'm going to explode already due to more reasons and this is like pouring more fuel into the raging fire within me or however you say it. New song, Mandala. I don't think this is possible to be played at CCH's farewell party, the instrument I took is though, Ekjun is wishing me good luck. Now I feel sibeh gei kiang(act pro). Okay I can do it I can do it I can do it, just practice more lor! No big deal, exams are over and there's nothing to do, I can just hit stuff in my house all day long. Maybe that will drown out my mum's voice and make me and my brother's life slightly less miserable. I think if I continue listening to her naggings my ears will grow bigger and bigger. No link. Ahh, whatever. I'm bloody pissed now. Percussion seniors, damn pro. Okay actually I've only seen Julian and Ekjun play, and we're just pieces of crap scattered around them. No offence to current percussion members(Actually I think they feel the same way but teachers always say NEVER ASSUME, so..), I'm in a very pissed mood currently so everything I type out will sound really mean. I think we need extra practiceS. Okay my mum just scolded me. I fucking feel like slapping her now, so what if she's my mother. Does it give her the right to be unreasonable? She doesn't understand teenagers, and she doesn't even wanna try. SHE JUST KEEP INSISTING HER WAY IS THE RIGHT ONE, IT'S THE MOST APPROPRIATE ONE. 1) Bedtime. Isn't it a fucking waste of time to toss and turn in your bed when you can be doing other things like reading a book or even studying for exams? The theory of 'Close your eyes and you will fall asleep soon' is entirely crap. If it's that easy, people wouldn't be suffering from insomnia. Plus if I can fall asleep at 10pm, you think I will stay up till 12? 2) Usage of computer. '4 hours of computer is really long, 2 hours enough.' What the fuck is this I ask you. For my own good? Is the computer very harmful, it doesn't cause myopia. It is only using electricity and fine, if I don't use computer you tell me what to do lah. Housework? Hahaha very funny best joke ever. Even if I do you still say I don't, and get scolded again. SO WHY DO, WHY HELP? Make myself buaysiong and get scolding also. Go out you scold, sleep you also scold, say whole day only know how sleep. Fuck you. 3) STUDIES!! TAMADE MY BLOOD BOILS WHENEVER IT COMES TO HERE. It's like me doing the housework, study already still say never study, and get scolded. Got improvement also scold. No improvement scold more. FINE, YOU ALWAYS LIKE THAT LOR, YOU WIN LOR. GOOD THINGS ALWAYS PAJIAO BOH SEE, BAD THINGS SEE UNTIL !@#$% (Couldn't find words to describe) LOR. Cheebye. I can go on and on there are still a lot of things I wanna scream out but.. On a second thought, why not. No, it's not good to continue cus I might start feeling guilty. And delete the huge chunk above, which will be an entire waste of my effort. Anyway, I don't really care if she sees this, I don't care if it's my fault or hers to you, I don't really wanna care about anything anymore. I am freaking tired of life. Julian said there'll be a concert by Hwa Chong JC on 1st June and their CO is power!! I think I shall go watch.. Beats being at home and getting scolded all the time. My mum just left the house (6.40pm) for dinner and I didn't wanna go cus I wasn't hungry. She scolded again and slammed the door real hard. ISIT A CRIME TO NOT FEEL HUNGRY?! (Actually I am, just that I didn't wanna go out with her when she's like a machine gun now.) I think I am very guailan. [/EDIT] I LOVE JARRATT.. .. .. 'S PSP!! :D [EDIT] |
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